Panic Mode - Version 1

Earlier today, panic mode set in. Lol

I was cleaning out the fridge when I started getting really anxious for some reason. I stopped, sat down and breathed but then my brain got to thinking about everything and I freaked myself out!

I kept asking myself "How am I going to do this with three kids?"

Yes, I'm a single mom of two (going to be three)

The father of my two older children is not involved in their life because he is currently serving a 13 years prison sentence for abusing me while I was pregnant with our second child. I have no contact with him and have expressed my immense distaste for allowing him to see the children in prison. I will NOT take my children and subject them to that lifestyle. Selfish on my part? Maybe.

The father of this baby is very much involved with the pregnancy. He has attended all appts with me so far and plans on attending every one. I talk to him everyday, whether it's related to the pregnancy or not. Yes, he is an ex. I had a little hope that we might get back together once he found out I was pregnant, but now I'm glad wwe didn't. We are better friends since we've broke up. He is very excited about the pregnancy and the prospect of being a father. I guess I am blessed in this instance. I could have a deadbeat for a father. But that's not the case with this baby. His father works and is a full time college student.

I don't live with anyone. I have had the place I have for almost 3 years. My oldest son has been attending the same school for children with developmental delays for 3 years. My family lives here in town. My best friend lives about two minutes away from me so I have a strong support system here in town. All my bills are paid, in full, every month. My children may not have everything they want but they have everything they NEED.

I guess now that I sit and type this, I guess I don't have it so bad. There is always somebody out there that is worse off than me. I need to count my blessings. I provide for my children the best I can. My children know that they can depend on their mommy and that I am always there for them. I am providing stability for them. I am accepting my responsibilities as not only a mother, but as an adult.

I can do this with three children. Heck, if the octo-mom can do it, I can!