Earlier today, panic mode set in. Lol
I was cleaning out the fridge when I started getting really anxious for some reason. I stopped, sat down and breathed but then my brain got to thinking about everything and I freaked myself out!
I kept asking myself "How am I going to do this with three kids?"
Yes, I'm a single mom of two (going to be three)
The father of my two older children is not involved in their life because he is currently serving a 13 years prison sentence for abusing me while I was pregnant with our second child. I have no contact with him and have expressed my immense distaste for allowing him to see the children in prison. I will NOT take my children and subject them to that lifestyle. Selfish on my part? Maybe.
The father of this baby is very much involved with the pregnancy. He has attended all appts with me so far and plans on attending every one. I talk to him everyday, whether it's related to the pregnancy or not. Yes, he is an ex. I had a little hope that we might get back together once he found out I was pregnant, but now I'm glad wwe didn't. We are better friends since we've broke up. He is very excited about the pregnancy and the prospect of being a father. I guess I am blessed in this instance. I could have a deadbeat for a father. But that's not the case with this baby. His father works and is a full time college student.
I don't live with anyone. I have had the place I have for almost 3 years. My oldest son has been attending the same school for children with developmental delays for 3 years. My family lives here in town. My best friend lives about two minutes away from me so I have a strong support system here in town. All my bills are paid, in full, every month. My children may not have everything they want but they have everything they NEED.
I guess now that I sit and type this, I guess I don't have it so bad. There is always somebody out there that is worse off than me. I need to count my blessings. I provide for my children the best I can. My children know that they can depend on their mommy and that I am always there for them. I am providing stability for them. I am accepting my responsibilities as not only a mother, but as an adult.
I can do this with three children. Heck, if the octo-mom can do it, I can!
Friday, September 23, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
A Very Scary Night
Three days ago I was laying in bed when I noticed I had to go to the bathroom. Thinking nothing was wrong, I went into the bathroom, did what I needed to do and discovered that I was bleeding. I freaked out and called ''baby's daddy'' to let him know that I was leaving for the hospital. It wasn't alot but it still freaked me out enough to head there.
I had Gage with me but dropped off Jaxon at my mothers. Mind you, I had to wake them up at 1am but Gage didn't mind because he got to the "hopsicle" with mommy. Jaxon was so tired I'm glad that I didn't take him with.
There is a hospital right here in town that I went to.Once I got there, the bleeding had sort of stopped but I still wanted to make sure everything was okay. They got me undressed, inserted an IV then instructed me that I needed a full bladder because based on how far along I was, they were probably going to do an U/S on me. B/P and everything else on me was okay so I was whisked off to U/S with Gage in tow. Got there and after what seemed like an eternity, but in all acutality was only a few minutes, they found my jelly bean and a strong heartbeat still there. They also tested my levels and said they were good. The sonogram took about a half hour which is the longest sonogram I've ever endured. They kept looking near my right ovary. I get sent back up to my room and about a half hour later the doc comes back with the news that I have SCH or a subchrionic hematoma.
Subchorionic Hematoma
So I get sent home, the bleeding subsides and I contact my OB the next morning. I was told that it was small, to take it easy over the weekend and that it should be gone by my next appt on 09.20 :) Pray for me that it goes away and doesn't get bigger!! I was told that my pregnancy is considered high risk now because the higher chances of placental abruption if the SCH does get bigger instead of smaller. So if it wasn't for the SCH I would still be high risk because of the gestational diabetes.
I had Gage with me but dropped off Jaxon at my mothers. Mind you, I had to wake them up at 1am but Gage didn't mind because he got to the "hopsicle" with mommy. Jaxon was so tired I'm glad that I didn't take him with.
There is a hospital right here in town that I went to.Once I got there, the bleeding had sort of stopped but I still wanted to make sure everything was okay. They got me undressed, inserted an IV then instructed me that I needed a full bladder because based on how far along I was, they were probably going to do an U/S on me. B/P and everything else on me was okay so I was whisked off to U/S with Gage in tow. Got there and after what seemed like an eternity, but in all acutality was only a few minutes, they found my jelly bean and a strong heartbeat still there. They also tested my levels and said they were good. The sonogram took about a half hour which is the longest sonogram I've ever endured. They kept looking near my right ovary. I get sent back up to my room and about a half hour later the doc comes back with the news that I have SCH or a subchrionic hematoma.
Subchorionic Hematoma
So I get sent home, the bleeding subsides and I contact my OB the next morning. I was told that it was small, to take it easy over the weekend and that it should be gone by my next appt on 09.20 :) Pray for me that it goes away and doesn't get bigger!! I was told that my pregnancy is considered high risk now because the higher chances of placental abruption if the SCH does get bigger instead of smaller. So if it wasn't for the SCH I would still be high risk because of the gestational diabetes.
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